i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
