is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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