You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
