i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
