Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
