She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
