He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
The power of my boobs compel you
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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