Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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