Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
