oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
