please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
