my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
false alarm, still single
Randomize
