The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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