Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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