She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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