States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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