God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
