The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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