The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
