? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize