i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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