Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
