Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
