Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Did I show you my penis last night?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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