Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
