you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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