The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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