As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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