Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
