You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
