it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
