Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
This show inspires me to have sex in space
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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