My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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