worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
