shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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