If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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