Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Just cropdusted the office
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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