Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
