My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize