Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i just made my gag reflex go away.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I want to be your penis for a week.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
