party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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