we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
