So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
