i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
