we're blogging at a bar
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
that may or may not have been my penis.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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