if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
We need to rekindle our bromance
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
