Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize