I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
