His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
