I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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