You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I think people are normalizing furries
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
