I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
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