That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
