Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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