i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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