part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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