just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
