Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
There r osticjed everywhere
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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