Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
last night I used snow as a chaser
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
