hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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