Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
