yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
