i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
