I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
