so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
