WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
