we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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